Hey there! 

I am struggling with some things. It is essential to be vulnerable and not act as you have all the answers as a coach. Be gentle, as I feel I am baring my soul in this post! 

Several years ago, I dreamed of owning my own business. I used to think that I had to know how to do EVERYTHING before I could even start. (Sidenote: I think female entrepreneurs struggle with this a lot). 

 Anyway, that limiting belief alone held me back from wanting to show up for you and ultimately prevented me from helping the people I was meant to help.  

I was listening to a podcast hosted by Amy Porterfield. In this particular episode, she had said, “there are far too many people in the online world that have created these “everything is awesome” online personas, and it casts a false light on what’s going on behind the scenes.” I immediately thought I couldn’t agree more! 

Many people (coaches, influencers, bloggers, etc.) have an “Everything is awesome” aspect to their posts and content. Did anyone else think of that Wreck-It Ralph song?? If you know, you know. Anywho, I say this to say that I believe we must embrace our uniqueness. So here goes nothing! 5 Things I’m Embarrassed To Tell You.

1. Sometimes, I wonder if I scarred my daughter by not being with her father.

A little backstory here. For most of my adult life, I had primarily been in a relationship with men. I have always been attracted to women, and some men knew that. I never entertained the idea that I would be with a woman. So, I did what I believe many people do when they feel they are expected to do or be a certain way. Go with the status quo. I dated guys, and I had good and bad relationships. One of the relationships resulted in a child who I love dearly. For most of my child’s life, I have been with the woman who is now my fiance. Although my daughter doesn’t know any other scenario other than her mom and other mom and her dad, I sometimes wonder if she will be ridiculed or teased because she has 2 moms. I struggled with this thought a lot at the beginning of the relationship. I kept my relationship private for a while before realizing that my daughter would ultimately want me to be happy. I appreciated how my family, friends, and daughter had embraced me for who I am throughout my relationship. 

2. I struggle with schedules and being a mom.

So, when I say schedules, I refer to the necessary routines that all parents need to have for their children—Bedtime, activities, etc. 

3. I worry about judgment for my depression and anxiety. 

I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I can remember. There have been many therapists that I have seen. Some served their purpose, and others were frankly just not for me. It’s hard for me to share what I struggle with as I don’t want to deter potential clients from choosing me as their coach. Please don’t laugh, but I’m so serious. Then I realized if I’m not honest about what I struggled with and the strategies I use to help, I am doing those people a disservice! I have never shared these types of things about myself online, but I am open to being open 🙂

4. I kick myself for wasting money. 

This one is VERY personal. Money is a subjective topic. In my experience, people are either very open to discussing money or very private. The thing about money that I think causes me to kick myself is that I have not always made the best financial decisions. There have been a lot of life events that had happened that caused me to be financially supplemented by the family for a while before I was able to provide for myself and my daughter. Anytime I waste money, I feel that it could’ve been money that I “should’ve” known not to spend. Have you ever felt like that? I do a MUCH better job now, and I know that money will continue to be something that will evolve, and I’ll get better over time. Like most things, I have to look at where I started and how far I’ve come to appreciate the growth and the lessons learned.

5. I don’t always love being the one in the relationship who feels like I need more to be happy. 

Many times in my current relationship, I needed certain ‘things’ to happen to feel okay. Let me explain. I have undiagnosed ADHD, so sometimes, I can get very flustered if my physical environment is cluttered. This is especially true for me right now as I am in the process of moving. Having boxes everywhere and my belongings not where they usually are is driving me nuts! I also need a certain amount of hours of sleep, eat the right foods, exercise in some shape or form daily, or struggle with going to sleep. The list goes on and on. Can you relate? My fiance and I are opposites, so sometimes it feels like I need a lot more to function. If you’re like me in any way, then you’ve struggled with feeling like a burden and wondering if you’re the weakest link. (Sidenote: I used to love that show). 

Here’s what I want you to remember. You are worthy of being loved. You are unique. You are special. And there’s NOTHING wrong with you. I have started to embrace who I am throughout my relationship, and I can honestly say that it has made ALL of the difference. 

And can I say, Thank you! Thank you for allowing me to feel safe enough to share these types of things here today. I truly love my community. You all encourage me to be open, honest, and raw with you!

Sending sunshine your way! 

-Sharlis